ODE TO THE ASSHOLE PRINTER

(Originally posted on my MySpace blog back in 2007)


I thought this little ditty up at the office today.

*******************************************************************

ODE TO THE ASSHOLE PRINTER

Ode to the asshole printer.
The bane of my fuckin' life.

Hate you. How I hate you. 
Hate you with all my soul.

I know I'm supposed to rhyme.
But I can't even do that now I'm so pissed at you.

I only ask that you print something.
Why do you constantly suck?

What's with all the God Damn paper jams?
It's not like this is fuckin' new!

You're supposed to print!
You're a PRINTER!! 

PRINT!!!!

Fuck you, HP Warning box!
I know the door is fucking open!!

I put a bucket of ink in yesterday!
Why can't you just fuckin' print!?!

Now what the fuck are you printing!?
I wanted that yesterday!

You piece of shit fucking printer!

I swear I'll kill you!

Fuck!!!

I can't even print this stupid poem out!!!

God, how I hate you.

*******************************************************************

Thank you.

We now return to our regularly scheduled blog.


Copyright © 2007 by Andrew Rubio